What individual concerns can we help you with?

IF YOU, OR YOUR CHILDREN ARE IN IMMEDIATE DANGER, PHONE 111 AND ASK FOR THE POLICE.
Many victims normalise the violence or abuse in their lives as it has become such a regular occurrence. You may actually be at risk of being seriously injured or killed! Have a look at these risk factors which at Central Lakes Family Services would be taken most seriously.
Has your partner ever…
 Used threats to harm, or kill yourself or a member of your family?
 Tried to strangle you (had his/her hands around your throat)?
 Forced you to have sex or other sexual acts?
 Used a weapon against you, or threatened to?
 Threatened to commit suicide if you leave him/her?
 Become violent towards you whilst under the influence of alcohol or other substances?
 Assaulted you whilst pregnant?
 Used unhealthy controlling behaviours eg stalking you, checking your whereabouts constantly, checking your phone/phone messages, being possessive and jealous, and isolating you from friends and family?
 Abused, hurt or killed animals, or pets?
 Used threats of suicide?
 Have a history of breaching court orders, or bail conditions?
If you are experiencing any of the above issues, and/or the violence is escalating, you (and your children) may be in serious danger of being killed or seriously injured.
Another warning sign is if an ex-partner is unable to accept your separation and is using any of the behaviours listed above. Leaving is usually the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship!
If you contact our duty phone 0508 440 255 you will be able to discuss your situation safely with an experienced staff member who can help you look at the options available to you. We can assist you to make a safety plan, plan ahead if you wish to leave a relationship, or apply for a Protection Order if this is what you wish to do. You and your children have the right to be safe!

Safety Planning
If you are thinking about leaving an abusive partner it is important to keep yourself safe and ensure that you have support from friends, family or support services like Central Lakes Family Services.

Where possible it is best to plan ahead and think about both short and long term safety plans to keep safe after separation.

In the event that you are being assaulted:
 Leave if you can – Be aware of all exits, is there anything blocking your escape route
 If possible keep a cell phone on you
 Are you leaving on foot and if so where are you going? If you are going to a neighbour’s house, are they aware that they are part of your safety plan? It is best to organise this in advance in conjunction with your neighbour so they know what to expect and how they can assist.
 If you are leaving by car, is there a spare car key handy? Is there petrol in the car and have you parked your vehicle ready for a fast getaway?
 Leave a spare set of clothing with a family member, neighbour or friend for yourself.
 Keep all important documents (passport, birth certificate, etc), cash, bank cards, medications together and place them where you can get them quickly or leave them with a “safe” person.
 If you get stuck in the house stay away from high risk areas such as the kitchen, stairs and garage and keep away from weapons.
 Call 111 for help.
 Run to a neighbour for help
 Get to a safe place outside the house to hide

 Use judgement and intuition. When the situation is very serious you may have to do what the attacker wants until things calm down. Then be on the alert for your chance to escape and get help.

Preparation for separation
 Tell only who needs to know like trusted friends or support workers about your plans.
 Arrange transport in advance and know where you’ll go.

 Gather documents. Birth certificate, marriage certificate, copies of Protection Orders, passports, any identification papers, driver’s licence, insurance policies, Work and Income documents, IRD number, bank account details and statements, cheque book, cash cards, immigration documentation, medical and legal records, etc.
 Keep record of any injuries. Ask your doctor to do this on your patient records.
Long term safety after separation
 You may want to apply for a Protection Order, discuss this with your support worker or your lawyer.
 Use different shops and banks to those you used when you lived with your ex-partner.
 Strengthen your home security. Change your locks and if possible get bolt locks, security chains.
Consider installing an outside lighting system that lights up when a person comes near your house at night. Plan for extra safety between leaving your car and entering your home, e.g. an automatic garage door opener, safety lighting, etc
 Tell neighbours that your partner does not live with you and ask them to call the Police if she/he is seen near your house, or if they hear an assault occurring.
 Tell your employer that you have a Protection Order, or that you do not want your ex-partner to have access to you. If your car is parked in an isolated place have someone walk with you.
 Telephone the Police if your ex-partner breaches the Protection Order. Contact your lawyer and your support worker. If the Police do not help, contact Central Lakes Family services or your Lawyer for assistance.
 Install ‘Caller ID’ on your phone and ask for an unlisted number. Make sure that emergency services have access to your phone number.
 Contact Elections NZ on 0800 367 656 or go to www.elections.org.nz and ask for your name and address to be excluded from the published electoral roll.
 Use social media with caution to hide all personal information that might give away where you live and anything about you that you wish to keep private from your ex-partner. You also need to make sure that any of your ‘Friends’ on social media know to not disclose anything about where you live, etc on social media.

Support for Individuals include:
Support and Information Advocacy Emergency Accommodation (Based on assessment) Counselling Strengthening Safety Programmes
Non Violence Programmes
Safety Planning

Women’s Services
 Strengthening Safety Programme
 Safety Planning
 Non Violence Programme
 Women’s Advocacy
 Women’s Counselling
 One on One Support
Men’s Services
 Strengthening Safety Programme
 Safety Programme
 Non Violence Programme
 Men’s Advocacy
 Men’s Counselling
 One on One Support

Strengthening Safety Programme is for anyone who has, or is, experiencing family violence. The focus of the programme is to identify risk and increase safety for the participant, identify and increase support networks, raise awareness of violence and abuse and the forms and cycles involved, understand the impacts it has on you. It will also challenge values and beliefs around violence, build self-esteem and self-worth, set healthy boundaries, build new skills around communication and conflict resolution and learn how to set and achieve goals to maintain positive change.

Non Violence Programme
This programme is for people who have been directed by the court (as the respondent of a protection order), or by the Department of Corrections to complete a non-violence programme. The programme is designed to assist those who use to learn new skills and strategies for themselves which don’t include violence, and to understand the impact of their behaviour on their partner. The programme assists those who are committed and motivated to make some good and positive changes, to have healthier relationships.